I've been thinking a lot lately about female friendships and the importance that they hold. During the last couple of pretty difficult years (my mom's sudden passing, making the decision to abruptly leave a job that I loved but didn't love me back, growing pains that drove me apart from what seems like countless different girlfriends), I've really struggled to hold onto a girl gang. A recent pondering of all these things and a binge of every episode of Girlfriends Guide to Divorce on Netflix (albeit cheesy but fun to indulge in) have left me itching to find my crew. I have wonderful friends that I've shared a lot of important milestones with (from standing with me on my wedding day to hanging out in the waiting room while I was in labor) but distance and my own personal lack of correspondence skill has made it hard to maintain those supportive bonds that we all see clearly defined on TV and within the pages of our favorite chick-lit.
I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 and sometimes I don't feel as though I've ever really experienced what it means to have a group of women that unconditionally support and uplift each other. I can't help but daydream about how nice it would be to gather at home with a couple of bottles of wine and my best girlfriends to commiserate about being a woman / complain about life / just hang out in general. I've noted lately that this is something I really crave. It's something that I'm currently missing.
Why haven't I settled into a girl tribe of my very own? Let me count the ways:
- I have had an unconventional trajectory (a young mother who isn't necessarily living the glamorous single life in her twenties) and I find it hard to relate to a lot of women with different paths.
- Up to this point I have moved often and I find it really hard to stay connected with friends once I am somewhere new.
- I have impossibly high standards for people / friendships that I am working diligently to get rid of.
All of this boils down to a lack of being open to making (but more importantly keeping) meaningful female friendships and I'm so ready to put that being me. The more I dive into a search for knowledge about all things divinely feminine, the more I understand how valuable it is to have strong women in your corner. While I might have touted myself a self-sufficient person even a year ago, I recognize now just how much it would mean to foster healthy and beautiful relationships with other ladies. Female friendship is powerful and after all, no woman is an island.
I'm currently on a mission to make real, genuine and last connections with women in my life and to pour effort back into those connections that may have fallen by the wayside in recent months / years. I would love to start a discussion. How important are female friendships to you? What have you learned from your girl gang that has changed your life?
image by Benjamin Bruce for Aniela Parys
